Stolen Questions

I just saw this on Michelle Whorwood’s blog and thought I would steal it. I finished my course last week and at a bit of a lose on what to do with my time lol. I have a lot to get done before Christmas but nothing that is going to take much time with the exception of Christmas shopping and a few things I want to make for Katie and two of my great nieces.

Making : invitations for Katie’s birthday party and pencil rolls for the girls for Christmas

Cooking : Nothing if I can avoid it

Drinking : Tea
Reading:  Into the Fire – Lindsey Fairleigh
Wanting: To be health, or just feel less pain would do
Looking:  forward to Christmas
Playing: Candy Crush Saga
Deciding:  what to get everyone for Christmas

Wishing: I could win lotto
Enjoying: The sun
Waiting: For inspiration to hit so I can finish the first chapter
Wondering: What my final marks for the course are
Loving: the last few weeks of school…enjoy it while I can
Considering: what I am going to write next
Buying: a new skirt for Katie to wear to the Marae on Friday
Watching: South of Hell

Hoping: I have saved enough money to get Katie a tablet for Christmas
Marvelling: How tall Katie has got this year
Cringing: yesterday’s Doctor Who episode, not one of the best
Needing: So many things
Questioning: Where my writing is going next
Smelling: me…must be shower time
Wearing: Jeans and t-shirt
Noticing: how messy my desk is…again

Admiring: the new school photo that arrived on Friday
Sorting: a mental Christmas list
Getting: sore fingers
Disliking: sore fingers
Opening: my mind
Feeling: oddly enough, sore
Snacking: anything sweet

as you might be able to tell, I’ve been in a bit of pain lately, well a lot of pain really. but it really isn’t anything new. one of the joys of having two chronic illnesses is that pain is a fact of life. Last week I was out for the count with pneumonia which worried me as it can be lethal for someone like me on immune suppression medication, but antibiotics and rest kept it from doing to much damage. I am pretty much recovered, still get tired easily but again, just the joys of these wonderful illnesses I have. I try to give life a positive spin most of the time but there are days when i can do it and have to succumb and let them have their wicked way with me so to speak. I don’t often talk about how my life has changed since I first got diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis 9 years ago. I use to be kind of an outgoing person, not a social butterfly but I enjoyed being involved in things but since getting sick, making plans is not always a great idea. I loved working and meeting people through work but now I can’t even get a job, who wants to hire someone that can’t be reliable, who has to have time off all time because she is in to much pain to get out of bed?

I miss the old me, the fun loving, give anything a go me. Now I have to consider everything I do carefully. If I am very active one day I pay for it the next. Even little things like going to the beach, less than a five minute drive away, can cause more damage than its worth sometimes.

People without rheumatoid or fibromyalgia like to tell me that I can’t let them rule my life. that’s alright for them to say, they don’t know what its like when even a five minute walk on the beach can leave you in pain and exhausted. Hell there a days when I have to have a rest after a shower. that is the biggest thing people don’t understand, why I have to plan what I am going to do with the limited amount of energy that I have.

I saw on TV the other day men doing a walk in Auckland in woman’s shoes to raise awareness for abuse. I would love for someone to walk in a chronic pain suffers shoes to raise awareness. Try walking around a mall with a walking stick or (like I do) an elbow crutch and see what happens. People are rude, impatient and often down right nasty to disabled people. I have been knocked into, pushed to the side (physically not emotionally) told to move and even tripped up. You would think groups of teenagers would be the worst offenders of that sort of abuse but its more often adults and not just men, I have had woman shove me out of the way when I was clothes shopping more than once. Its hard balancing a handbag, walking stick and any shopping, its harder still when people are shoving past you or pushing you around. And don’t even get me started on those horrible little kid size shopping trollies, every been rammed with one of them by someone’s wee darling? I got knocked over with one driven by a sweet little devil of a boy and his mother stood there and laughed, well right up until I told her (after struggling to my feet with no assistance from her at all) that I would be sending her the doctor and physio bills, that stopped the laughter. I would love to see those things banned, their dangerous.

I think its about time someone started raising awareness about chronic illnesses. How hard it is to be sick in a society that only values healthy active people.  we don’t ask to be sick and we don’t have a choice about staying that way either. We don’t get a lot in the way of government help. If you get drunk and have a car accident then ACC comes to the party and gives you everything you need but if you end up with a chronic illness well to bad, you have very little in the way of support, monetary or mentally.

Ok that’s my Monday moan. You probably stopped reading ages ago but there are things I need to get off my chest sometimes so live with it lol.

hope your having a wonderful day…don’t forget its December the first tomorrow…the silly season is upon us once more.


V xxx


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