It never ends

Talk about never-ending, last week it was Katie getting over her op and having such a hard time with the pain. This week its me, the stress looking after Katie put on me has brought on a major RA flare of the worst kind. Not only the pain from tip to toe but nausea, headaches, lightheadness, and the shakes. Oh lucky me. It started yesterday and has only got worse. Usually a days rest and I start to feel better but I spent the day on the couch yesterday and today in bed and I feel worse not better!!! Even the little things like holding a cup or a book are near impossible. I spent today curled up in bed with my laptop watching videos. I dont even have the energy to play games on Facebook, not like me at all, I love playing Farmville and Frontierland

I just feel like crying to be honest, normally a flare doesn’t get on top of me this much but I think this following all the physical and emotional upheaval with Katie’s op has just worn me down. I want to curl into a ball and sob, except curling in a ball would hurt to much. So I am doped up on codeine, sitting on the couch with the TV channel on Handy Manny because I cant reach the remote and Mum is giving Katie a bath so there is no one to hand it to me.

honestly I really hate this disease, I wouldnt wish it on my worst enemy if I had one. Its not just the pain and the medication, its the toll it takes on my mental health as well.

anyway Katie is out of the bath and I dont want her seeing me cry so I am to grab a tissue.

have a good night


V xxx


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