learning to live with RA

well its been an interesting 2 weeks since my diagnoisis. some good and some bad. Thursday last week (9th Nov) i was rushed to hospital by ambulance at 7ish in the morning with severe stomach pains and vomiting. i mean so bad i thought i was dying. i spent all morning in a & e where they took blood tests and monitored me then told me i had intergestion and was given panadol and malanta and sent home even though i was still in rather major pain. i spent the rest of the day doped up on codeine and to scared to move because ever movement made the pain worse. i managed to get through the night by knocking myself out with codeine but the next morning it was still there and getting worse so Mum rung the doctor and took me straight down, leaving Steve to feed Katie her breakfast. the doctors nurse took one look at me, rushed straight into an exam room and grabbed Pip my doctor and an oxygen bottle. they had me on oxygen within moments of taking my almost non exsistent blood preassure. Pip managed to examine me without it hurting to much then rung the emergency department to tell them i was on my way again and sort it out this time. i mean she was so calm but she let them know it wasnt good enough. then she rung an ambulance and did the paper work and left me sucking oxygen in her exam room with the nurse while she moved to another room and mum went home to organise the kids and meet me at the hospital.

its amazing how quick people jump when there is someone behind me pushing. i got to the hospital to find a baby doctor (my words for doctors that look like they should still at high school) waiting especially to see me (i would have felt special if it wasnt for the fact i was in so much pain) so more exams more questions and more pain and then she went off to consult with a real doctor who suggested and xray before admiting me and so after i dont know how long they gave me some pain killers and sent me to the ward via xray. i got as far as xray. Mum and Steve and Katie caught up with me there, then went up to the cafe with the idea of meeting me when i got to the ward. i didnt get to the ward. after the xray i was left in the hallway for what seemed like forever then the baby doctor turned up and starting talking air escaping and holes in my stomach and ulcers and surgeons and dont worry it will be ok. then i was back in emergency and the nurse was taking my blood preasure again and looking concerned and i just wanting my mum cos i had no idea what was going on and with a voice that doesnt go above a whisper i cant ask question that anyone can hear. the doctors and mum turned up pretty much at the same time. meanwhile i am sobbing and this baby indian doctor who apparently is old enough to be surgeon is telling me that i have a perferated ulcer and need an operation NOW to repair it and stop the pain. at this stage all i can think of is that people die in operating theatres and i would never see my babies again. i have been scared in my life but nothing like i was in that short time between being told i need surgery and being knocked out. i just kept staring at Katie and Steve thinking i would never get to see them grow up. just before they wheeled me away my brother arrived, thank god, someone need to look after mum.

i dont remeber much from there except a lovely guy with a heavy irish accent telling me not to worry and patting my arm as someone else put a mask over my face. next thing i know i am in recovery, the only thing i remeber from there is someone changing my gown and seeing heaps of blood on it and thinking i was going to throw up. then they pumped morphin into me and off to ward 10 where Mum, my brother, Jodi and Steve found me a few moments later. Geoff (big brother) had gone to see Jodi at work to let him know and Katie was with Geoff’s friend which made me cry cos i just wanted to see her.

i spent the weekend in hospital which was so much fun, saturday was a bit of blur, my sister flew up from Queenstown to see me, and cried. i slept most of the day on and off and was doped up on morphin still. by Sunday i was feeling almost normal by my RA was playing up something wicked cos i hadnt had any of my meds since thursday and because i was under the surgeon and not my specialist who was away no one really knew what was safe to give me since it was a combination of the meds and the RA that had caused the problem in the first place. so it was late sunday afternoon when the surgeon consulted with someone and i was given methotrexate and prednisone which calmed things.

i got out monday and ever since i have been improving rapidly all round. i can get around better ever day. i even managed to get Katie up and dressed and gave her breakfast. it was good to be a mum again after 2 months of having to watch Mum look after her. i couldnt have got by without Mum since i got sick, shes worn herself to the bone looking after me and the kids but honestly i would not be here if it wasnt for mum.

so i am learning to live with this thing i have and recover from the surgery but i really wish my voice would come back otherwise i am looking at more surgery. i have to go to the e.n.t specialist in the next few weeks, i saw my arthrtis doctor yesterday and hes refering me to see whats going on. its got to be even more annoying since Dad got home on thursday because hes got bugger all hearing and i can talk loud enough for him to hear me so either mum or steve has to tell him everything i say. its frustrating for us both.

anyway my fingers hurt so i’ll write more in a few days

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